How Not To Be A Supermodel

It’s the second you’ve all been ready for*: my first ever e-book, How Not To Be A Supermodel, is obtainable for pre-order! Here!

An precise e-book that it is possible for you to to carry in your arms. Or, in case you desire my dulcet tones, take heed to along with your ears. You’ve liked my revealing life updates, through the years, and also you’ve diligently learn by way of my farcical tales of woe (bear in mind once I nearly unintentionally penetrated myself with a shower faucet?): now it’s time to let me take you all the way in which again to 2001, once I was a mere slip of a factor, leaving my regulation diploma to grow to be an immediately wealthy and well-known supermodel.

You could possibly name How Not To Be A Supermodel a memoir, as a result of I wrote it about myself and my recollections and the experiences I had as a vogue mannequin within the noughties, however my God that makes it sound very severe. “Memoir” makes it sound as if I wrote my e-book within the 1800s. Within the drawing room, while mom did her needlepoint and Eliza practised on the pianoforte.

And let me ask you this: would a memoir, to your thoughts, embody a narrative about unintentionally occurring a luxurious five-day vacation with a person you didn’t know? Would a memoir sometimes have a chapter known as Physique Like a Turgid Penis? Or – maintain on a second whereas I rustle by way of my notes – I’m Drunk and I’m Not Carrying Knickers? No it might not.

So sure, I wrote it about me and sure, it’s set prior to now, however don’t make the error of pondering that any painful soul-searching went into this e-book. Let’s not get the unsuitable finish of the stick, right here. I didn’t write it while sobbing periodically right into a starched linen kerchief, dabbing my eyes when it received to the insufferable bits: it is a rip-roaring riot of a journey by way of a decade of the inconceivable situations and surprising occasions that life as a non-supermodel threw up, and it’s chaotic and blundering and humorous and steadily ridiculous.

Pre-order How Not To Be A Supermodel

OK, there are poignant moments. In fact there are. In reality I used to be particularly informed, once I received the e-book deal, that I needed to embody the bits that might create one thing of a speaking level. (As if me inadvertently changing into concerned in an impromptu intercourse present or nearly falling into shark-infested waters wasn’t sufficient of a speaking level.) And so sure, I’ve put within the tough bits in addition to the entire elements that may doubtlessly have you ever spitting out your espresso and embarrassing your self on public transport.

However principally it is a snort-inducing, extremely correct** account of all of the methods wherein I did not grow to be a supermodel. My obvious bodily shortcomings, my persona defects and my spectacular capacity to draw chaos and catastrophe in nearly any scenario.

You’ll be able to pre-order How Not To Be A Supermodel now – the discharge date is twenty ninth August. It has already been heralded as THE ONLY BOOK YOU NEED TO READ THIS YEAR!*** and so I feel it’s a reasonably protected wager that you just’ll find it irresistible. Pre-orders actually matter, apparently, and so in case you solely ever click on on one hyperlink I put up then please make it this one. I’ll be eternally in your debt.

Pre-order your copy of How Not To Be A Supermodel here

I’ll be again with extra posts concerning the e-book and concerning the strategy of writing it as a result of it has truthfully been one of the best, most satisfying factor I’ve ever achieved in my grownup life. When you’ve adopted me for some time you then’ll know that writing was what I had began to do on the finish of my modelling profession; running a blog was a really blissful accident that took off into one thing nice and I’ve a superb and rewarding profession in social media due to it, however I’ve been hounding a e-book deal for a really very long time****. It’s a correct “full circle” second for me.